


it starts somewhere

by machellex



Series: this is how it goes [1]
Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Police, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Human K-2SO, fake dating au bc i live for this shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-01
Updated: 2017-03-01
Packaged: 2018-09-27 14:53:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10026752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/machellex/pseuds/machellex
Summary: “I wasn’t going to press charges.”“This Jyn Erso threw paper made for urinal purposes at your living quarters. Does that or does that not count as both vandalism and trespassing charges and therefore, mean that you were potentially unsafe and give very legal grounds for arresting her—”“We’re dating,” Cassian blurts.Jyn’s head snaps up to Cassian’s, her eyes wide. They’re—they’rewhat?--Or:Jyn TP's the wrong house, and Cassian pretends to be her boyfriend to prevent her from getting arrested.





	

**Author's Note:**

> fake dating au bc i live for this shit
> 
> was hoping to turn it into a 5+1 series but we’ll see
> 
> also based on that one au trope about “throwing eggs at a house on a dare only to be caught by parent who is a cop and tries to cop out by claiming said son/daughter is an ex” or something like that

It starts like this:

The house next to Cassian’s belongs to Leia’s asshole of an ex-boyfriend. His name is irrelevant, as is his life considering two days ago, he outright cheated on her. Jyn hates cheaters. She hates them a lot. And she hates them when they hurt her friends. Which is why she is ready to set her revenge plan in motion. 

She’s a quite loyal person. Really. Even if sometimes… a tad bit immature. 

Leia tells Jyn her revenge plan is ridiculous and unnecessary though Jyn strongly believes otherwise. “I don’t want you to get caught by the cops.”

She waves away Leia’s worries. “It’s just toilet paper. He’ll never see me if I’m working alone.”

And Jyn is right. To an extent. 

He never sees her coming because somewhere along Leia’s explanation of what her ex-boyfriend’s house looks like and where it’s located, Jyn messes up a couple of things including but not limited to—the color of the shingles, the color and make of the car out front, and most importantly, the numbers on the house. 

Which is, unfortunately, how she ends up throwing toilet paper at Cassian’s house instead.

When the front porch lights turn on, Jyn knows she has less than a minute to run to her car and get the hell away from the scene. But before she has the chance to make it away from the sidewalk, blue and red lights dazzle down the street before coming to a halt. Jyn has always known bad luck was on her side, and that things never, ever seem to go as planned, especially when said plans are criminally illegal. 

But she never guessed it would be _this_ easy and _this_ bad.

She swears under her breath and digs her heels into the pavement. So much for a clean record until she turned twenty-eight. “How were they so _fast_?” she groans as she attempts to spin on her feet and walk the other way, only to bump into a dark-haired man. A dark-haired man who had approached from the TP’d house. Which could only mean he was the owner of said house.

The owner of said house who was most definitely _not_ Leia’s ex-boyfriend. 

“You are _not_ Leia’s ex-boyfriend,” Jyn says, dumbfounded. 

The man quirks a brow. “I am definitely not.”

“Then who—”

A cough and clearing of the throat from behind her interrupts her thoughts. Her eyes begin to dart around, and she wonders, really wonders, if there is at all a possible escape plan she can magically hatch from thin air. “Cassian, this must be your trespasser,” a dry voice says. 

“Kay,” the man known as Cassian greets. “You didn’t have to come. I told you I could handle it.”

“You said that someone was on your property. I have the obligation of seeing to the issue while I am on duty.” He pauses, and now she knows he’s staring at the back of her head. Somewhere in the background, she hears Cassian murmur that he had everything under control. “Can you identify yourself?”

Jyn begrudgingly turns around and digs in her pocket for her wallet. “Here,” she says weakly as she hands it over. She watches as he scans her image and name.

“Jyn Erso.” The man is tall with sharp angles all around and eyes like glass. She immediately knows she doesn’t like him and probably never will. His gaze shifts between the excessive toilet paper decorating Cassian’s house to Jyn, a mark of critical displeasure written all over his face. “I have the authority to write you up for vandalism and trespassing. On a cop’s house, no less. The nerve—”

Jyn feels her brain sink. A _cop_. She would have the unlucky grace to TP a cop’s house. “Look, it was an honest mistake—”

Kay the cop scoffs. He _scoffs_. And that just makes her blood boil because she couldn’t fathom anyone who had the audacity to _scoff_ at her as if what she had to say was irrelevant. “The likelihood of trusting that answer is extremely low—”

“Look here, Officer,” Jyn fumes as she takes a step forward only to have a hand pull her a step back. She lets out a sharp hiss. 

“Kay, I told you. You didn’t have to come,” Cassian says as he moves to step between them. “It wasn’t a big deal. I would have been able to handle it without you.”

“Cassian, it is within my obligations to ensure that my partner is safe. The signs you gave on the phone moved me to believe that was not the case—”

“All I told you was that I was a little startled by the noise outside—”

“Does ‘a little startled’ not mean that you are potentially not safe?”

“Kay, why do I always have to have the semantics conversation with you?” Cassianpresses his fingers to his forehead, and Jyn is quite utterly— _confused_. She almost has a mind to quickly slip away as they argue, but Cassian’s grip on her wrist, unfortunately, prevents her from moving anywhere other than forward. “I wasn’t going to press charges.”

“This _Jyn Erso_ threw paper made for urinal purposes at your living quarters. Does that or does that not count as both vandalism and trespassing charges and therefore, mean that you were potentially unsafe and give very legal grounds for arresting her—”

“We’re dating,” Cassian blurts.

Jyn’s head snaps up to Cassian’s, her eyes wide. They’re—they’re _what?_

Kay seems to have this same reaction although Jyn can’t tear her eyes away from Cassian’s flushed face, almost daring him to continue that statement. Kay shifts his gaze between the two, doubt crossing his features. “It seems very unlikely that you would take a mating partner such as the likes of Jyn Erso—”

“We got into an argument, and—”

“—And I thought he cheated on me; hence, I TP’ed his house,” Jyn announces although saying it aloud makes it sound as if she’s quite mentally insane—she _isn’t_. She attempts to amend herself. “But it was an honest mistake. It was just ah… a misunderstanding.”

Kay narrows his eyes. “It does not make sense that Cassian would date someone for any length of time without telling me, much less a _criminal_ —”

“I’m not a criminal,” she bites in a low voice. She intends to say more when she feels a thumb brush against her skin, a soft _stop,_ a firm _refrain yourself_. She’s amazed at herself when she does, but she’s sure both can feel the bristle that she hums in the air. 

Cassian runs his hand through his hair, then gently against the scruff on his chin. “It’s late, Kay, and I didn’t tell you because I knew you wouldn’t approve. Just let me deal with Jyn, alright?”

She feels Kay scrutinize her from head to toe, slowly taking in her slightly ratty hair, the dark bags under her eyes, and her clothes most definitely chosen to help her blend in with the night. He lets out a long exhale before muttering in disappointment. “You are correct about my judgements on Jyn Erso. I do not, in fact, approve of this. Jyn Erso does not look like she can be trusted, and I am not satisfied by the looks of her.”

“Likewise,” she mutters, and she feels Cassian tighten his grip.

“Like I said, I had this under control. I’m not pressing charges, and you didn’t have to come here,” Cassian reminds him. “It was an argument gone wrong.”

“I will take my departure then,” Kay says stiffly before turning to nod at Jyn. “It was not very nice meeting you, but I assume we will have to get along until you and Cassian are no longer mating partners.”

“ _Kay._ ”

When Kay finally leaves, though very grudgingly, Jyn turns on her heels to face Cassian, and he’s a lot—well, he’s a lot taller than she had expected. She blinks to regain her sense of reality before jutting her chin forward, higher. Her eyes narrow. “Why did you do that?”

He raises a brow and slips his hands into his pockets. “Why did you TP my house?”

“I didn’t know it was your house!” she fumes. “I thought you were… someone else.”

“And I didn’t think it was necessary to press charges,” he says in a low voice, a small smile at the tip of his tongue. He’s turning then, and she’s quick at his heels. “But Kay would have went on forever until he could arrest you. I had to say something.”

“And so you chose the route of fake relationships?”

“He left, and you didn’t get arrested or fined for TP’ing the wrong house. Isn’t this a win-win?”

Jyn can’t argue with that one, so she doesn’t. Technically, it’s _not_ a win, not until she gets some goddamn toilet paper on the house next door. But she won’t say that. Instead, hesitantly, “You’re a cop.”

“I am.”

“Then why would you let it slide?”

He turns when he reaches the foot of his door, and then he’s looking down on her in a way that makes her feel incredibly smaller than she already is. A brow lifts, his eyes twinkling in amusement. “Do you want me to press charges and arrest you? Because I can.”

Her brows furrow. “You just don’t make sense,” she says finally, eyeing him curiously, almost suspiciously. 

Cassian sighs as he glances over to the house beside him then settles his gaze back on hers. There’s a softness to him behind all the hard and concrete lines embedded in his face. “Sometimes people make mistakes. And sometimes, people who are simply trying to protect their friends also need protecting.”

There’s a thick kind of quiet in the air, a heavy tension quite different from before. Her eyes wanders across his face, hovering at his dark lashes and then at his lips. She blinks once, twice. 

Then she’s watching the breadth of his back reach towards his door, and his hand lift with signal of goodbye. “Just make sure to clean up the toilet paper, Erso.”

She blinks again, draws herself out of her daze. “Right,” she says faintly, eyes shifting over to the house next door. She licks her lips—

“And don’t even think about throwing it over to my neighbor,” he says dryly. “I’m still a cop, even if I did give you a pass.”

“Of course,” she says quickly. Because _of course_ she won’t, not now that she knows he lives next door (although maybe, just maybe she’ll try saran wrapping his car during his work shifts). Then she’s simply standing at his door as it shuts in front of her, unable to tear her gaze away from the crooks and lines in the wood. She finds herself knocking.

He opens it with a sigh. “Yes?”

“Um—I owe you one,” she admits carefully, reluctantly. And she hates that she does, but she imagines it’d be worse to have that hang over her head and know somewhere deep inside, she’d owe him for the rest of her life if she didn’t say something now. At least now, he can claim it, and hopefully, soon. 

And then she’ll never have to think about him ever again. 

Cassian leans his shoulder against the doorframe, crossing his arms. “So you do,” he says wryly. 

She refuses to meet his gaze as she says, “So claim it soon, okay? I’m not going to wait around for you to do so.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

She turns quickly and bounds down the stairs to start tearing down the toilet paper, doesn’t think twice that all he knows is her name and not her number or any other means of contact. 

But he’s a cop, so he’ll figure something out.

This, unfortunately, becomes the start of how Cassian (and even worse, _Kay_ ) become introduced and intertwined in Jyn’s life. 

She’s not quite sure if she likes it. But she’s dealing. 

**Author's Note:**

> idk who leia's ex is you guys can imagine (i'm not thinking han but whatever floats ur boat)  
> cash me on tumblr [@ma-chelle](http://ma-chelle.tumblr.com/)


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